If I were a terrorist, I would strike on December 31, too late to make it into any of the end-of-the-year top something lists that the media are so fond of. That way, in addition to whatever havoc I had wreaked, I would have the added satisfaction of knowing that I had proven all the news media wrong.
That said, these lists do serve another important function … that of wasting that generally unproductive time between Christmas and New Year’s.
Top things I totally don’t want to hear about in 2014 (in no particular order [well, alphabetical, but let’s face it … the alphabet is in pretty much random order]):
- Alec Baldwin
- Billion dollar buy-outs of some kid’s middle school science project
- Boston Strong
- Breaking Bad
- Candy Crush Saga
- Miley Cyrus
- Fiscal cliffs, sequesters and government shutdowns
- Nuclear weapons made entirely on 3D printers
- Edward Snowden
- Anthony Weiner