In news that has stunned the literary world, scholars have discovered what appear to be fragments of a long-lost manuscript by William Shakespeare. If authentic, this work would demonstrate almost unbelievable prescience on Shakespeare's part. Unfortunately, only portions of the first and last scenes have survived, and, while these resemble one of Shakespeare's better known plays, it’s difficult to know what may have gone between.
Act I, scene 1
(A dessert place)
When shall we three finally merge,
As investors always urge?
When our stocks have stopped their slide,
When we come back, like the tide.
When consumers cease to care
For MacBook Pro or MacBook Air.
I come, Zuckerberg.
Act V, scene 8
(Another part of the field)
Turn, CPU-bound, turn!
I bear a charmed life, which must not yield
To one with Intel inside.
Despair they charm.
Know then iPad contains from Apple’s labs
Lay on, iPad,
And damned be he that first cries, ‘Battery’s dead!’