Saturday, July 28, 2007

Possibly final Harry Potter predictions

Sorry. I've been on vacation, the first day of which was spent reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. While I enjoyed the book immensely, the epilogue was strangely unsatisfying. It was at once too much and too little information. I'm sure Rowling will be forced to provide some further clarification as to the fates of our heroes, so I offer what may be my last Harry Potter predictions (but I doubt it).

  1. Harry and his friends will start receiving petronus spam. Silvery glowing animals will appear with messages like "Enlarge your wand" and "Albanian officials will transfer millions to your Gringott's vault."
  2. Having grown up in the muggle world, Harry will finally introduce telephones, e-mail and ball point pens to the wizard world, allowing them to have same-day communication, and to get rid of those stupid quills and parchment, and tying notes to owls' legs.
  3. Why can't these folks hold on to their wands? With something as important as the wand, they seem awfully careless about leaving them lying around, or giving them up to the first expelliarmus that wafts their way. How about sewing miniature wands into their clothing? Or, better yet, surgical implants? Imagine just being able to shoot spells with your fingertip!
  4. Speaking of wands, since when is magic so directional? If your wand aim is a little off, your spell misses its intended victim and lops off someone else's ear? A little too light sabre-y, if you ask me, though I guess it makes for good cinematic effects. How about if someone invents a diffuser that spreads the charm, or a way to have it affect only the target?
  5. Even with the wand waving, Molly Weasley still gets stuck doing the cooking and cleaning for whoever happens to apparate by for dinner. C'mon, J.K. I know most of the magical world is still medieval, but I think we could move a little past this. I think any future HP writings will address this, probably in a very self-conscious way.
Ok, so this is probably not final. I'm sure I'll think of some more. Or maybe I can finally get back to thinking about something more real.

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